Travel Bans, Voter Fraud Commissions, Allegations of Wiretapping former Presidents; America: no longer the leader of democracy and freedom in the world, no longer the home of the brave but, now, proudly, the home of the new and improved tweeting conspiracy theory wackos.
This 4th of July, forget about liberty and freedom and, instead, concentrate on the notion that they are all out to get us. We must hide our heads in the sand. We must succumb to every imagined fear we can. We must close all our boarders to all who seek refuge to show the world how autocratic and third world country we can be. You guessed it. It’s time to play, “Let’s Enact a Travel Ban!” Check local listings for dates and times.
This 4th of July we celebrate America’s new incivility towards each with the grand opening of the new website: www.mad.evil.prez. Disclaimer: this great new website while overstocked with lots of snake oil is not intended to be a replacement for divisive random tweets based upon nothing but conjecture, thoughtlessness and thin air.
Coming January 20th at 6:00 AM PST/7:00 AM MST
Stay tuned for the Premier of “The Great American Presidential Apprentice,” the new world leader Reality TV show you don’t want to miss is coming this January 20th. As President-Elect he has nearly caused one international incident after another from China, to Japan, to NATO and then throwing in a Russian Hacking denial or two for grins, but he’s just getting started. Just wait until he becomes President on January 20th. Populist autocrats all around the world can’t wait either.
Watch as he fires Congress while his supporters cheer with glee. Then watch him fire the Supreme Court as they cheer some more. And then watch him fire the Constitution but not before steamrolling over the Bill of Rights amidst ever more louder cheers (even the beloved second amendment does not get a reprieve). In addition to his Constitution defacing antics, “Draining the Swamp” will take on a whole new Reality TV meaning as he successfully convinces us that he needs to fill up the swamp in order to drain it.
No Presidential Press Conference will be as much fun to watch as the ones he has planned for his “Press on Trial” segment. All those nasty people in the press corps will be put on trial and then, you guessed it, fired. Watch as he deflects attention away from questionable lawsuit settlements to some poor group of Broadway entertainers whose only crimes were that they asked that the rights of others be respected.
Watch as he dismantles your democratic institutions right before your very eyes, magically and then replaces your republic with a fiefdom. The White House will never be the same. In fact, it won’t be because it is being renamed. Henceforth, it is now, “The Great House.”
So, tune-in on January 20th! It will be like a having a Political Rally right in your very own living room! America will be great again!!! And, oh, by the way, he is also renaming America to the “United States of Greatness,” but, then, soon to be just, “Great, the Country,” because he intends to fire all the States too. Additionally, everyone must now salute the red, white and combed-over flag.
And, for all of you who belong to questionable faiths who should not be let into the country, don’t forget to wear your official state issued religious identification badges because, afterwards, you might win an all-expense paid trip to his new resort, “The Taj Mahal Luxury Internment Villas,” near the new wall site. And don’t pay any attention to those bellhops who look like armed guards. As long as you don’t go anywhere, they won’t bother you.
*Check local listings for availability and times (times may vary).