If we want to keep our country free of totalitarian nonsense, we all know that we better be able to find Ukraine on a map. So, that’s why, today, everybody is playing the fast paced new trivia board game that is taking the country by sharpie storm: “Find Ukraine on a Map!” You will be given a map. In 10 seconds you must find Ukraine or suffer an undeserved berating at the hands of some undignified Press hating despot in the State Department and then lose your First Amendment right to Freedom of the Press, stripped of your ability to cover State Department events as ordered by the sinister, totalitarian Secretary of State in his petty act of revenge.
However, beat the clock by finding Ukraine and you get to go to the next level…you get to, “Find Lichtenstein on a Map!” Each new level presents a more challenging little country to find; one that the Secretary of State thinks you don’t care about. Have fun as you turn the Secretary of State into a pathetic world renowned laughingstock with each new level and country you identify!
You’ll have hours of fun with friends and family! You won’t be able to stop playing, “Find Ukraine on a Map!” Also, soon to be a prime time TV game show (with efforts underway to enlist Pat Sajak as its host)! And don’t forget about its sibling board game, “Find Hurricane Dorian’s Alabama Path on a Map!”—for all you weather enthusiasts!
So, I am from a family of staunch conservatives. I’m surrounded by conservatives at work. I am from a hometown where conservatism is its middle name and where the Presidential Library of the greatest conservative that has ever lived resides. So, I have to say, impeachment fever is catching. And I’ve got it bad! It’s worse than cowbell.
That’s why I am advocating the impeachment of Mickey Mouse! Just consider the way Mickey has been acting all these years: with all his upstaging of Donald Duck, his bumbling attempts at apprenticeship, nearly flooding the whole world with his ill-conceived sorcerer type antics, and his outrageous efforts to render Mini-Mouse to little more than domestic status, oppressed, preventing her from being the total mouse she wants to be.
I’m certain all this bad behavior from this little rodent is the cause of all of the mistakes President Clinton has made, all the mistakes that President Bush has made and, lately, all the mistakes that President Obama is making. After all, how many of them can deny watching and being influenced by Mickey’s bad behavior when they were wee little folks? No remark about not inhaling will do here. So, let’s get to the source of this problem and impeach the one really responsible for all this chaos in the world in the first place!
Impeach Mickey Mouse now! I plan to be at the First Street overpass next Saturday, with my Freeway Banner in tow calling for Mickey’s impeachment. I’ll also be passing out several protest signs to those of you who are just as fed up as I am with the little happy cheese eater. Don’t let this mouse push us around any longer. So, how many of you will join me? Let’s impeach Mickey before it’s too late!!!!