The Swallowed Whistle Detective Agency

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We specialize in finding Anonymous Op-Ed writers who may have caused you treasonous harm.  At “The Swallowed Whistle Detective Agency” we will leave no stone unturned.  Our sophisticated investigated methods will root out the enemy within your organization.  Do you have an annoying Anonymous Op-Ed writer who has just written a scathing rebuke of your leadership skills or, perhaps, this cowardly unidentified two-faced individual dissed your ability to understand simple, basic principles of American freedom and justice?  Or, maybe, you have been accused of cozying-up to dictators who have taken advantage of your ego and your limited brainpower?

No problem.  We will find your traitorous informer within 30 days or you get a full refund, satisfaction guaranteed!  With “The Swallowed Whistle Detective Agency” on the trail, the happy Anonymous Op-Ed writing days of your unknown antagonist will soon be coming to an end.  So, call now for a free consultation so you can get back to doing what you do best—destroying your country’s democratic institutions and it’s standing in the world with reckless disregard!

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