Humor

Patriotic Fox Sports Announcers and Other Boobs

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I agree with Brooke Baldwin.  You cannot say:  “I believe in the First Amendment and boobs.”  You can either say, “I believe in the First Amendment” or “I believe in boobs.”  But you cannot use both in the same sentence.  It also would be improper to say:  “I believe in First Amendment boobs” (regardless of how patriotic you think you might be sounding).  However, if you voted for one, then saying, “I believe in political boobs,” would be perfectly acceptable.  And that leads me to my final point: the only time it might be acceptable to say “I believe in boobs” at all on national television is if you happen to be one.

Fox Sports Radio’s Clay Travis’s dysfunctional response to Baldwin during her interview on Friday, September 15, is obviously offensive to anyone who believes public statements should promote a certain amount of decent coherency along with a certain amount of reasonable civility and respect.  While the First Amendment does give Travis the right to expose debased portions of his mind; it doesn’t mean he should ever use it to do that without considering the forum of his free speech.  Nor should Travis expect decent people to think he is being more clever than obnoxious for doing so.

But, one thing we should give Fox Sports Radio’s Clay Travis some credit for: at least he didn’t say he goes around grabbing boobs that don’t belong to him or that he uses his celebrity status to help him execute such overtly licentiously conceived plans.  Those careless thoughts might just get him elected President of the United States.

What is this country coming to and what the heck is going on at Fox with all this crazy regressive subculture they seem to want to own?  How long will the Fox Network continue to appear to be actively promoting sexual misconduct and degeneration within their midst?  And one last question: does the basket stop here?  Or is it something more systemic that is growing in our general population that should cause us more alarm?  I guess I will let you know after I get done eating lunch at my favorite owl themed restaurant (“Oh Miss, can I get another basket of deplorables, I mean, buffalo wings?”).

 

References

CNN Anchor Ends Segment Early Over Commentator’s Bizarre ‘Boobs’ Remark

 

 

July 4th Note #3: The Tweeting Conspiracy Theory Wackos

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Travel Bans, Voter Fraud Commissions, Allegations of Wiretapping former Presidents; America:  no longer the leader of democracy and freedom in the world, no longer the home of the brave but, now, proudly, the home of the new and improved tweeting conspiracy theory wackos.

July 4th Note #2: Let’s Enact a Travel Ban!

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This 4th of July, forget about liberty and freedom and, instead, concentrate on the notion that they are all out to get us.  We must hide our heads in the sand.  We must succumb to every imagined fear we can.  We must close all our boarders to all who seek refuge to show the world how autocratic and third world country we can be.  You guessed it.  It’s time to play, “Let’s Enact a Travel Ban!”  Check local listings for dates and times.

July 4th Note #1: www.mad.evil.prez

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This 4th of July we celebrate America’s new incivility towards each with the grand opening of the new website:  www.mad.evil.prez.  Disclaimer:  this great new website while overstocked with lots of snake oil is not intended to be a replacement for divisive random tweets based upon nothing but conjecture, thoughtlessness and thin air.

Off-Color Remarks in Jokes

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rooster-2

The problem with Colbert’s inclusion of an off-color remark in the joke he told last week is that now, instead of keeping the focus of attention on Trump’s reckless, baseless, unsubstantiated, totally unthoughtful, untruthful and outrageous claims about a former President that might highlight for the general public Trump’s incompetency as a leader, the focus of attention is now on Colbert’s controversial remark.  The focus is no longer where it should be.  For a political joke to be effective, you need to keep the focus of attention squarely directed on the target of the joke, not on yourself.

But, on the other hand, I don’t believe the FCC has much of a chicken leg to stand on if they want to consider fining Colbert given that the word Colbert used means something totally benign with the formal use of the word in the English language.  If you look the word up in any Google search, the definition is:  “a male bird, especially a rooster.”  So, to the FCC chairman and his crusade to spend time and money to investigate something that would have been outright dismissed by any other sane, less vindictive administration, I only have one thing to say: “Cock-a-doodle-do.”  Besides, the less time the FCC spends “investigating” something that doesn’t need to be investigated, the more time the FCC and congress can get back to destroying our internet protections and making your life on the internet less secure and more annoying.

Presidential Mouthwash

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It’s pretty obvious that the controversial portion of Stephen Colbert’s joke contained a statement that was quite inappropriate. And I think Colbert should offer an apology.  Also, to further differ with Colbert on that topic, of course Trump’s mouth is good for other things.

For example, Trump’s mouth is good for telling Billy Bush how great it is to be able to grab things he shouldn’t.  Or exclaiming how former Presidents have dressed-up in stealthy black attire to sneak into his towers to bug his every conversation.  Or how the Intelligence community knows less than he does about the fairytale of Russian hacking.  “Fake news” is Trump’s mouth’s middle name.  Therefore, Trump’s mouth is good for anyone who aspires to be a despot or who wants to disgrace our American form of democracy.

For those cases, Trump’s mouth is the perfect useful tool.  No longer is it just a pen for Putin’s prize Rooster.  Speaking of which, that also now explains why I always thought I saw feathers flying around Trump’s head after ever watching him speak.  It all makes sense now.

 

The Great American Presidential Apprentice

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Coming January 20th at 6:00 AM PST/7:00 AM MST

Stay tuned for the Premier of “The Great American Presidential Apprentice,” the new world leader Reality TV show you don’t want to miss is coming this January 20th.  As President-Elect he has nearly caused one international incident after another from China, to Japan, to NATO and then throwing in a Russian Hacking denial or two for grins, but he’s just getting started.  Just wait until he becomes President on January 20th.  Populist autocrats all around the world can’t wait either.

Watch as he fires Congress while his supporters cheer with glee.  Then watch him fire the Supreme Court as they cheer some more.  And then watch him fire the Constitution but not before steamrolling over the Bill of Rights amidst ever more louder cheers (even the beloved second amendment does not get a reprieve).  In addition to his Constitution defacing antics, “Draining the Swamp” will take on a whole new Reality TV meaning as he successfully convinces us that he needs to fill up the swamp in order to drain it.

No Presidential Press Conference will be as much fun to watch as the ones he has planned for his “Press on Trial” segment.  All those nasty people in the press corps will be put on trial and then, you guessed it, fired.  Watch as he deflects attention away from questionable lawsuit settlements to some poor group of Broadway entertainers whose only crimes were that they asked that the rights of others be respected.

Watch as he dismantles your democratic institutions right before your very eyes, magically and then replaces your republic with a fiefdom.  The White House will never be the same.  In fact, it won’t be because it is being renamed.   Henceforth, it is now, “The Great House.”

So, tune-in on January 20th!  It will be like a having a Political Rally right in your very own living room!  America will be great again!!!  And, oh, by the way, he is also renaming America to the “United States of Greatness,” but, then, soon to be just, “Great, the Country,” because he intends to fire all the States too.  Additionally, everyone must now salute the red, white and combed-over flag.

And, for all of you who belong to questionable faiths who should not be let into the country, don’t forget to wear your official state issued religious identification badges because, afterwards, you might win an all-expense paid trip to his new resort, “The Taj Mahal Luxury Internment Villas,” near the new wall site.  And don’t pay any attention to those bellhops who look like armed guards.  As long as you don’t go anywhere, they won’t bother you.

*Check local listings for availability and times (times may vary).